Start in life

(Het Begin van het Leven)

1. "Will your son stop sailing?" I asked. The captain shook his head. "That's different. It's his job. It's his life. But you? You came for adventure. And look what happened! Maybe you are cursed. Maybe you are like Jonah in the Bible."

2. Then he got angry. His son had told him my story. "What kind of fool runs away from a good father? What kind of fool throws away a comfortable life? I would not sail with you again for a thousand pounds! You bring bad luck! You cause death!"

3. His words hurt me. But I said nothing. I had too much pride to admit he was right. He kept talking. "Mark my words. If you don't go home you will face disaster after disaster. Your father's curse will follow you. You will suffer until you wish you were dead."

4. We parted. I never saw them again. I had money in my pocket from the kind people of Yarmouth. I could go home to York. Or I could go to London and find another ship. The choice was mine. But shame made the decision for me.

5. How could I go home? Everyone would laugh at me. "There's the boy who ran away to sea!" they would say. "One storm and he came crying home!" I could not face that shame. My pride was stronger than my good sense. This is the madness of youth.

6. We are not ashamed to do wrong. But we are ashamed to make it right. We are not ashamed to be fools. But we are ashamed to become wise. So I went to London. On the road I fought with myself. But pride won every argument.

7. In London I stayed for some time. The memory of the storm began to fade. My fear grew weaker. My desire for adventure grew stronger. I thought less about home. I thought less about my father's tears. I thought less about God's warnings.

8. Finally I made my choice. I would find another ship. I would try again. I would prove I was not a coward. I would show everyone I could be a sailor. I was the greatest fool who ever lived. And I would pay dearly for my foolishness.